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And Seen…Eclipse Recap!

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  • The term for this third movie would be called “middling.” (See Lost season 3 for reference).
  • Bella has forgiven Edward for leaving her.  She realizes it was just that he loved her SO much he had to let her go.  This is a super healthy relationship.  However, Bella is not convinced about getting married.  Isn’t being turned into a vampire enough?  Now Edward wants her to do paperwork as well?
  • Victoria is still coming after Bella as one of the lamest villains in history.  To recap, Victoria was the girlfriend to big-bad vampire James.  James was supposed to be the villain in the first movie, whereas Victoria was just a back-up.  They were able to kill James pretty easily so Victoria shouldn’t be a problem, right?
  • They did recast Victoria with Bryce Dallas Howard, so perhaps she is more of a threat.

Old Victoria demure and like a kitten. New Victoria...well just look at her crazy eyes.

  • Victoria’s vamp power seems to be that of elusiveness.  They just can’t seem to catch her.  This only makes them want her more.  Wanting what you can’t have is true for the undead too.
  • She also seems to be breeding a band of newborn vampires that are causing a ruckus in the northern states.  Starting with this guy, Riley, who disappeared.  Charlie is investigating Riley’s disappearance. At the same time, Riley is investigating Charlie’s daughter and how to kill her.
  • As the main newborn, Riley (aka Vicki’s bitch), is in charge of creating and maintaining all the newborns.  The problem with newborns is they are ridiculously strong, yet uncontrollable since they are just after blood and more blood.
  • Meanwhile, the love triangle gets even pointier when Jacob kisses Bella and confesses he loves her.  She punches him and breaks her hand.  Obviously Bella, he looks like he’s cut from stone.  Why would you strike that? If only she didn’t fall for super creatures, then maybe she could get in a good slap once in awhile without ending up in the hospital.
One of these days you will feel my wrath!
  • Since she can’t hurt him with a physical blow, she goes with an emotional one and un-invites him and his pack to her graduation party (she’s still in school?). Boom Jacob, you just got served…Bella style.
  • Edward is pissed.  Jacob making a move on his would-be-vampire-bride.  Not cool, Jacob, not cool.
  • Their feud is put on hold though because they have bigger vampire fish to fry.  When Alice sees a vision of Riley and his newborn army attacking Forks, they band together to protect Bella (and really all the people of Forks).  Don’t tell Bella though, because she is sure it’s just about her.

Hi. We're the Newborns. Check out our new music video water-logged!

  • One of the best parts of this movie is you get glimpses into some of the vampires’ pasts.  This means only one thing: period-piece wardrobe!
  • We find out about how Rosalie was left for dead after getting gang-raped by her husband-to-be and his friends.  Carlisle found her and “saved” her by turning her into the undead.  This is why she takes issue with Bella wanting to become a vampire because she didn’t have a choice.

Being gang raped is never fun, but at least I got to wear a kicky hat!

  • We also get a glimpse into Jasper’s checkered past.  He was a soldier who was turned into a vampire by Maria.  He was created to control a newborn army of vampires (he has so much in common with Riley), and kill them when they were no longer useful.  He did not enjoy his pre-Cullen vamp life.  His love of Alice saved him.

Well hello, soldier handsome. You put that hat on your head, and we have kicky hat:part 2.

  • Inspired by Jasper and his stunning flashback, Bella decided that maybe she could marry Edward after all.
  • First though, they’ve got a battle on their hands.  To the woods!  They decide to camp in the mountains because that is the last place newborns will look.
  • It’s really cold up there though, and Edward with his being dead and all can’t help a shivering Bella, so hot-blooded Jacob has to crawl into her sleeping bag with her to keep her warm. Cue sexy music.
  • Now Edward is starting to doubt himself, maybe Jacob is better for her? Don’t be silly Edward, she’s only got eyes for you…right?
  • In the morning, Jacob overhears Bella and Edward talking about their engagement and is the definition of an unhappy camper.   Did their slumber party mean nothing to her?
  • There is a fight brewing with the newborns and now Jacob has nothing to lose, so he’s going to go off and be wreckless…that’s when Bella intervenes and begs Jacob to kiss her. Talk about a power play.  Go on with your bad self, Bella.

Oops, wrong photo...or was it?

  • Edward finds out about the kiss, but it’s cool because Bella tells him she loves him more than Jacob.  Phew. Otherwise, people would have to throw out their Team Edward buttons.
  • Oh, hey Victoria, how did you find this secret hiding space in the middle of the mountain?  Victoria wants to kill Bella but Edward kills Victoria first.  This is just like James all over again.
  • Some of the Volturi turn up fashionably late (Did we miss the fight? Bummer). Now that most of the danger has passed, they will take care of the rest of the newborns, including Bree, who the Cullen’s are guarding because she surrendered during the fight.  One of the members of the Volturi, Jane, has Bree killed anyway.
  • Jane also points out that that Bella is still human and she’s sure the Volturi powers-that-be will be very interested in finding this out. Jane is such a tattle-tale.

    This is right up there with Uptown Girls as far as career choices.

  • Bella chimes in and tells her that the date for her transformation has already been set. So suck it, Jane.  But not literally, that’s Edward’s job.  He gets to turn her into a vampire – remember blood-sucking is sexy-town.
  • Bella visits the injured Jacob.  He still got hurt despite her kissing powers of prevention.  Bella tells him that she has chosen Edward.  He’s all sad but knows he doesn’t stand a chance.  So he’s like, “Whatevs. You go be you, and I’ll be here being me. “
  • Then Bella tells Edward all his dreams are going to come true. She’s going to marry him and become his vampire bride!  Nothing can go wrong now, right?

And Seen…Eclipse!

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3 responses »

  1. Now I am kinda getting into this. I may have to read the books and see the movies
    after all!
    It seems like quite a time-suck though.
    Yeah – I’ll just go with the recaps.
    Thanks!

    Reply
  2. Pingback: And Seen…Twilight Saga recaps! « And Seen…with Julie and Traci

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