Unfortunately we’re unable to get into the studio this week. It is MLK weekend, and you know what they say about MLK: go big or go home. So obviously we’re in Aruba. But here is a recap of our conversation following the screening of Broken City.
Movie ends. One person is clapping. Traci is sitting in her chair with a look of dread and concern on her face starring at Julie.
TRACI: Did you see me starring at you like this the whole time?
JULIE: Sadly, no. That would have made the whole thing more interesting.
TRACI: I wanted to connect with you so many times during this movie. But you never looked over.
JULIE: I’m scared to make eye contact during screenings. If I look at you I will start laughing and then it’s all over.
TRACI: That was really boring, right?
JULIE: Yes. We should rename it Boring City.
One man continues to awkwardly clap at the credits while we exit and head to the bathroom.
JULIE: I just don’t understand Mark Wahlberg’s acting. Attempt at acting?
TRACI: Totally. And the whole thing was like, okay I know that it might be relevant to what’s going on in the world but it was so blah.
JULIE: When you find yourself wondering what dress his girlfriend is going to wear to her premiere party in the movie, that can’t be a good sign.
TRACI: And her dress was boring too!
JULIE: Ugh, I know. Hey, did your bathroom stall have a huge no smoking sign on it?
TRACI: No. That’s why I was smoking in mine.
Insert laughter as we crack ourselves up. We leave the bathroom and head outside.
JULIE: Should we discuss Russell Crowe’s tan and bangs?
TRACI: Right?! A tan really brings out the mole on his face, I couldn’t stop staring at it. And he wore all those unzipped jackets.
JULIE: The better to see his tan with. Plus, you need to wear those to play racquetball. Racquetball is always the go to sport in movies about rich people asserting power.
TRACI: It’s so aggressive.
JULIE: And someone always falls and it looks so painful.
TRACI: Catherine Zeta Jones sure wore a lot of things on her head.
JULIE: Yes, she loved a good scarf.
TRACI: How awkward was that on the Golden Globes when she started to sing?
JULIE: I still preferred that to her performance in this. Though in the movie when she cried out of just one eye, that was pretty awesome.
TRACI: There were so many stupid things, like when Wahlberg gets in a car accident and he’s reeking of booze and the cops like, “We’re all good here, you can go.”
JULIE: Or the box of incriminating documents he finds, because you just throw those in the trash you don’t shred them.
TRACI: At least they showed people shredding some of the documents, they must have just forgotten about that one box.
JULIE: And Mark Wahlberg falls off the wagon and that’s totally fine, no one cares that he starts drinking again. In fact, he seems to do a better job when he’s drinking.
TRACI: What happened to his girlfriend, they break up at her “indie” movie premiere and that’s it?
JULIE: Yeah he goes back to his apartment like 5 days later and she’s moved out.
TRACI: Where was he sleeping the whole time?
JULIE: Blacking out at bars because he’s drinking again?
TRACI: Did he not shower that whole time?
We get in the elevator with a couple.
US: What did you think of the movie?
THEM: Thought it was great, we loved it!
US: Are you fans of Mark Wahlberg?
US: Did you like this better then Ted?
THEM: We didn’t see Ted.
US: You should, it was much better then this. Though Fear is probably still his crowing achievement.
Uncomfortable silence. Elevator opens and we all exit.
TRACI: I would never recommend this movie.
JULIE: Me either. Let’s go watch Fear and remember the good times.
If you’re still unsure what Broken City is about you can watch the trailer here